As a life coach, I am committed to helping my clients make their lives work better. Since what that means is up to them, I usually start with the question, “What do you want?” And almost always the answer is some variation of, “Something different from what I’ve got.”
If you are experiencing some level of dissatisfaction in one or two areas of your life, you know the feeling. You know what you’ve got. You might know exactly what you want instead – or you might not. You might believe something else is possible – or you might not. You might want to make the most of the hand you’ve been dealt – or you might want to change the rules, maybe pull an ace out of your sleeve.
Identifying what you believe to be possible is as important as deciding what you want. And what you believe to be possible will directly correlate to your level of Personal Power.
What You Belief to be True is True
For those operating from Victim mode, nothing looks possible. A sense of futility reinforces a belief in helplessness; emotions such as fear, resentment, anger, envy, loneliness, and anxiety support the belief in futility; actions tend to be a choice between fight or flight. They may yearn for something else, but they believe it to be impossible. Victim mode is a pit, and the and the walls of the pit are all the person can see.
For someone operating from Interpreter mode, the view of what’s possible is amazingly more expansive. Interpreter mode is a mire, with solid ground in clear sight. Options begin to immerge, even if they all seem fraught with difficulty. The themes of fight and flight morph into themes of hard work and rebellion. An Interpreter of the hard work theme might decide to gain more knowledge, acquire the proper tools, accumulate the right credentials, obey all the rules, etc. An Interpreter of the rebellion theme might decide to blame and complain, undermine the competition, emigrate to another country, defeat the enemy, not make waves, etc. Either way, Interpreters believe in struggle as much as they believe in possibilities.
Those who operate from Observer mode stand on solid ground. Because they can see in any direction, everything becomes possible. They’re more humble than hurt, more pragmatic than skeptical, and far more curious then certain. Even though they acknowledge the worst could happen, they accept the best is at least as likely. Their belief in the possible reveals pathways and doors that someone struggling in the mire cannot see.
Those operating from Partner mode have chosen a general direction and are moving forward. They may not know all the twists and turns of the road ahead, but by choosing this particular direction they eliminate a host of other possibilities. What they want becomes probable.
Those who operate from Creator mode believe what they want to be inevitable. If they make wrong turns, they trust the detour will benefit them. They may dally along the way, and good things will come from the delay. Obstacles are valuable challenges, hindrances bestow blessings. What they’ve chosen becomes the only possible result.
The movement from what you have into what you want is always a growth process. What you currently have matches what you believe is possible, and your beliefs reflect the way your thoughts, emotions and action merge together. When you want something else instead, you have to believe the new something is possible, and you have to bring your thoughts, actions and emotions into congruence with that new belief.
Change a Belief and you Change Yourself
In order to have something different, or do something different, you have to be different. And that means growth.
Imagine Victim mode as an acorn buried underground. Instead of “fight or flight” the options are grow on don’t grow. When you choose to grow you move into Interpreter mode, and that’s like sending out the first tendrils of roots and stem into the hard, dark earth, running into rocks and other roots and risking being eaten by whatever feeds on tender growing things underground. Growing into Observer mode is like bursting through the surface. You experience sun and rain, day and night, warm and cool, and you can see the possibility of becoming a viable, healthy tree. As you Partner with both nourishment and adversity, you continue to grow. Your trunk becomes stronger and taller, you branch out, and you trust the probability of your future as a beautiful oak. Ultimately, you mature into Creator mode. Inevitably, you become the originator of future forests.
Sometimes, in deciding to transition from what is to something else, it’s easy to forget that growth is part of the deal. Let’s take the Law of Attraction, for example, with its basic principle of, “Give your attention to your Intention.” So you set a clear Intention, and you come up with a good positive affirmation or a rhythmic mantra for meditation, and you strengthen your focus on your Intention.
If your Intention manifests, you have experienced personal growth from your efforts. If you your Intention doesn’t manifest, you have not.
Growth will begin when you believe what you want is possible – and that often includes a paradigm shift. Growth will include mastering your thoughts and emotions at higher levels of power. Growth may include forgoing old habits and/or gaining new competencies. For growth, you must expand your awareness, become more mindful, and develop a more trusting relationship with your intuition. Thus, growth becomes an essential aspect of manifesting your Intention.
When the Intention is for Growth
For some people, Personal Growth is the main objective rather than a means to an end. While for most of us, growth is the way to achieve an Intention, for them the Intention is the way to achieve growth. For instance, I have two clients who have both set Intentions for greater prosperity. One wants to break free of old beliefs he acquired during childhood about money being scarce and difficult on the one hand and a burden on the other. To do this he must leave the old stories behind, see money as neutral and stop judging himself for past choices. The other sees prosperity as a condition of wholeness. For her, more abundance is secondary to mastering the principles of Partner mode.
These two clients are at different stages of growth. Even though their Intentions are essentially the same, one is growing in Personal Power from Interpreter to Observer in order to achieve greater prosperity. For him, the starting point is to believe money can come easily. She wants to master Personal Power at the Partner level, and she’s using her Intention as her classroom. Her starting point is to believe her wholeness unconditionally encompasses abundance.
Manifesting an Intention has three basic steps:
- Set an Intention that is true for you.
- Bring your thoughts, actions and emotions into congruence with your Intention.
- Receive.
Manifesting Growth by way of an Intention requires a bit more mindfulness:
- Achieve the calm of neutrality.
- Recognize the power of choice.
- Believe what you want is inevitable.
- Set a true Intention.
- Surrender into willingness.
- Receive.
At this moment in time, your level of Personal Power produces what you currently have. To achieve something else, put the necessary effort and attention into your own growth so you can be in harmony with your wants.
(If you find value in what I write, you might like to experience what can be achieved through one-on-one coaching. The first session is always complementary. Write me at kathy@kathyjacobson.com)
