Archive for September, 2010

Surety

Sunday, September 26th, 2010

Last week I emphasized the importance of conceptualizing what you want (instead of what you have) and then believing the result you imagine is possible.

When you believe something is possible, that belief establishes a surety around that possibility, increases its likelihood.  When you believe something is impossible, that belief establishes a surely which decreases the possibility.

The possibility, in and of itself, is neutral, neither likely nor unlikely, poised in the middle of a scale, yet having no power to tip the scale either way.  The force that tips the scale one direction or the other is belief.  Imagine the scale looks like this:

Impossible < Improbable < Possible > Probable > Inevitable

If you are neutral about a possibility, you sit in the middle of the scale.  More likely, you have a belief and the scale is already tipped in the direction of your belief.

Sometimes when you want something, you start at that middle point where everything is possible.  Perhaps what you want exceeds your knowledge of how to achieve it, but you know other people have reached a similar objective, which means it must be within reach.  Other people stay out of debt, other people weigh the right amount for their height, other people have jobs they love, other people have happy relationships.  Therefore, perhaps you can, too.  In this neutral state, you are calm, steady, interested, mindful.  Your sense of your own abilities allows for the likelihood of success as much as the likelihood of failure.

Sometimes, failure looms larger than success.  Maybe you doubt your abilities, your opportunities, or your luck; maybe you see obstacles or limitations in the way; maybe your experiences have taught you to keep your expectations in check.  Other people may have achieved what you want, but the path ahead seems overgrown with struggle and difficulty and attainment seems improbable.  Just thinking about it makes you tired.

Sometimes the desired result seems impossible, more fantasy than reality.  You’ve never actually seen anyone else achieve that “pie-in-the-sky” outcome, so you doubt the success stories.  Yeah, sure, John and Mary fell in love and lived happily-every-after, just like Prince Charming really saved Cinderella from a life of drudgery.  The sheer impossibility of the dream immobilizes you.

Other times, the scale tips toward attainment.  When you envision what you want, the way ahead looks clear.  You know what to do, you are willing to do it, and you feel confident.  With a good plan, a little luck, perhaps some help along the way, the possible becomes probable.  You proceed willingly and full of hope.

And sometime what you want shines ahead of you like a beacon, strong and bright.  You know you’re aligned with yourself and the universe.  Without conscious effort, your stride forward eagerly; all you have to do is head for it and it’s yours.  Inevitably.

So which comes first?  Your level of belief?  The energy you project?  Your degree of confidence?  The outcome you envision?

Actually, each of these elements contributes to the others.  You can shift your energy, you can reinforce your confidence, you can more clearly envision, or you can relax your doubt and expand your belief.

Belief Produces Results

Some things happen with such regularity and consistency, you know they’re true:  breathing, gravity, magnetism, the phases of the moon, trees lose their leaves in the fall, etc.  No belief is necessary.

Some things you have come to believe over the course of your lifetime and they also feel true.  Of course these things vary from person to person, but consider what you know vs. what you believe about such things as whether your parents love you, how smart (or athletic, or artistic) you are, whether the world is hostile or friendly, etc.

Then there are the things you hope to be true, such as that you will advance in your company, that you will find your soul mate, that your back will stop hurting, that you will get out of debt, etc.  Generally speaking, hope is the factor that sustains desires you’re not quite sure of.

And finally are the things you believe are not true.  This might include practices that make no sense to you, such as astrology, or alternate medicine, or prayer, or self-flagellation.  It might include things about yourself, including what you believe you are not talented in, or capable of, or have the resources for.

There’s an old adage that says, “Whether you believe you can or your believe you can’t, you’re right.”  If you’re willing to review your beliefs, you will find a strong positive correlation between what you believe and your results.

Clearly, if you change what you believe you will change your results.

Belief = Surety

The certainly of your belief about a given possibility, however, is only one of the sureties influencing your results.  There is also the surety of your own personal power.  Just as no two people access their own power in exactly the same way, not everyone comes to trust their personal power in the same way.  I’ve identified four important starting points for believing in your own inner strength.

A starting point means exactly that.  The point at which it’s easiest for you to become calm, recognize the possibilities, and proceed more confidently toward what you want.

As I describe these four starting points, consider your own approach and see which one resonates most with you.

Trust Yourself

You believe in your strengths.  You sense (or know) you have talents, abilities, knowledge, experience, and you know your strengths can (or have the potential to) serve you well.

The more you trust yourself, the more you grow in confidence.  As your confidence grows, you recognize you are competent, smart, inventive, brave.  You realize you can easily transfer a competence (or aspects of that competence) from one situation to another.  As a problem solver, you trust your ability to see the scope, identify the steps, and learn the details as you go.  So there’s no limit to the types of problems you can take on.

You know your strengths – and you maximize them.  You minimize your weaknesses.  You don’t claim to be something you’re not, but neither do you let insufficiencies get in your way.  If there’s something you can’t do, you know someone who can and you’re not afraid to ask.

Trust Your Choices

You believe in growth.  You sense (or know) there are no mistakes.  You rely on the laws of cause-and-effect, knowing every choice simply produces an outcome.  The outcome then produces knowledge, and knowledge produces growth.

As you learn from experience, you gain confidence in your ability to make informed decisions, to take the known variables into consideration, and to do the necessary research.  This empowers you to choose again, proceed into the unknown, and continue to accumulate new knowledge.

Because you look for growth, you take difficulties, obstacles, or mishaps in stride.  Sometimes you may feel as excited about what you’re learning as you are about reaching your objective.  For you, every choice opens the door to adventure, and learning what not to do is as satisfying as learning what to do.

Trust The Infinite

You believe in a higher power (call it God, Cosmic Consciousness, The Field, The Universe, The Source, The Higher Self), and you are willing to (or already do) cultivate a personal relationship with it.

You sense (or know) you are not alone.  The more you trust the influence of The Infinite in your life, the more you look for and practice communicating with it.  You recognize guidance is always available, you stay receptive, and you trust that guidance to ease your way.

In addition to guidance, your connection with The Infinite provides both serenity and protection.  It accompanies you when you take risks, it encourages curiosity and amusement, it provides comfort in times of trial and courage in times of difficulty.  The more you rely on The Infinite, the more you understand your life.

Trust Your Intuition

You believe in your “sixth sense.”  You sense (or know) you gather information not limited to your five physical senses, and you incorporate it (or would like to) into the way you go through life.

You may see this information as coming from somewhere outside yourself, or it feel like a “gut” instinct.  It helps you make connections between disparate things, find unique solutions to problems, understand yourself at a deeper level, and recognize unusual possibilities.

As you gain experience with your intuition, you recognize the importance of neutrality, since prejudices of any kind will skew your insight.  The more you clear away intrusive thoughts, unruly emotions or impetuous behaviors, the more trustworthy your intuition becomes.  Ultimately, your intuition will guide you to the truest intentions, the most rewarding partnerships, and sustainable achievements.

Acquire Surety Through Mindfulness

So, you’ve found your starting place.  You’ve identified the one that resonates with you, and you want to expand your trust level.  Begin by mastering neutrality and stay mindful.  Just as each of these styles of surety can help you access and master your own personal power, they all present challenges along the way.

Beware of pride, ambition, fanaticism, arrogance, or a need for validation.  Be wary of any inner narratives that compare, measure or dispense judgment in any way.  Cultivate neutrality, awareness, generosity and compassion.  Pay attention to your thoughts, acknowledge your emotions, recognize the connection between the energies you generate and your results.  And be willing to take baby steps.  Progress of a slow but sure nature will bring you to the greatest levels of sureness and mastery.

If you would like person help creating the life you want, or mastering your personal power, please contact me.  As I life coach, I help people “move to the next level,” whatever that means to you.  Write me:  kathy@kathyjacobson.com

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Posted in Beliefs, Free will, Neutrality, Possibilities, manifestation, personal power | 1 Comment »

Growth as a Goal

Sunday, September 19th, 2010

As a life coach, I am committed to helping my clients make their lives work better.  Since what that means is up to them, I usually start with the question, “What do you want?”  And almost always the answer is some variation of, “Something different from what I’ve got.”

If you are experiencing some level of dissatisfaction in one or two areas of your life, you know the feeling.  You know what you’ve got.  You might know exactly what you want instead – or you might not.  You might believe something else is possible – or you might not.  You might want to make the most of the hand you’ve been dealt – or you might want to change the rules, maybe pull an ace out of your sleeve.

Identifying what you believe to be possible is as important as deciding what you want.  And what you believe to be possible will directly correlate to your level of Personal Power.

What You Belief to be True is True

For those operating from Victim mode, nothing looks possible.  A sense of futility reinforces a belief in helplessness; emotions such as fear, resentment, anger, envy, loneliness, and anxiety support the belief in futility; actions tend to be a choice between fight or flight.  They may yearn for something else, but they believe it to be impossible.  Victim mode is a pit, and the and the walls of the pit are all the person can see.

For someone operating from Interpreter mode, the view of what’s possible is amazingly more expansive.  Interpreter mode is a mire, with solid ground in clear sight.  Options begin to immerge, even if they all seem fraught with difficulty.  The themes of fight and flight morph into themes of hard work and rebellion.  An Interpreter of the hard work theme might decide to gain more knowledge, acquire the proper tools, accumulate the right credentials, obey all the rules, etc.  An Interpreter of the rebellion theme might decide to blame and complain, undermine the competition, emigrate to another country, defeat the enemy, not make waves, etc.  Either way, Interpreters believe in struggle as much as they believe in possibilities.

Those who operate from Observer mode stand on solid ground.  Because they can see in any direction, everything becomes possible.  They’re more humble than hurt, more pragmatic than skeptical, and far more curious then certain.  Even though they acknowledge the worst could happen, they accept the best is at least as likely.  Their belief in the possible reveals pathways and doors that someone struggling in the mire cannot see.

Those operating from Partner mode have chosen a general direction and are moving forward.  They may not know all the twists and turns of the road ahead, but by choosing this particular direction they eliminate a host of other possibilities.  What they want becomes probable.

Those who operate from Creator mode believe what they want to be inevitable.  If they make wrong turns, they trust the detour will benefit them.  They may dally along the way, and good things will come from the delay.  Obstacles are valuable challenges, hindrances bestow blessings.  What they’ve chosen becomes the only possible result.

The movement from what you have into what you want is always a growth process.  What you currently have matches what you believe is possible, and your beliefs reflect the way your thoughts, emotions and action merge together.  When you want something else instead, you have to believe the new something is possible, and you have to bring your thoughts, actions and emotions into congruence with that new belief.

Change a Belief and you Change Yourself

In order to have something different, or do something different, you have to be different.  And that means growth.

Imagine Victim mode as an acorn buried underground.  Instead of “fight or flight” the options are grow on don’t grow.  When you choose to grow you move into Interpreter mode, and that’s like sending out the first tendrils of roots and stem into the hard, dark earth, running into rocks and other roots and risking being eaten by whatever feeds on tender growing things underground.  Growing into Observer mode is like bursting through the surface.  You experience sun and rain, day and night, warm and cool, and you can see the possibility of becoming a viable, healthy tree.  As you Partner with both nourishment and adversity, you continue to grow.  Your trunk becomes stronger and taller, you branch out, and you trust the probability of your future as a beautiful oak.  Ultimately, you mature into Creator mode.  Inevitably, you become the originator of future forests.

Sometimes, in deciding to transition from what is to something else, it’s easy to forget that growth is part of the deal.  Let’s take the Law of Attraction, for example, with its basic principle of, “Give your attention to your Intention.”  So you set a clear Intention, and you come up with a good positive affirmation or a rhythmic mantra for meditation, and you strengthen your focus on your Intention.

If your Intention manifests, you have experienced personal growth from your efforts.  If you your Intention doesn’t manifest, you have not.

Growth will begin when you believe what you want is possible – and that often includes a paradigm shift.  Growth will include mastering your thoughts and emotions at higher levels of power.  Growth may include forgoing old habits and/or gaining new competencies.  For growth, you must expand your awareness, become more mindful, and develop a more trusting relationship with your intuition.  Thus, growth becomes an essential aspect of manifesting your Intention.

When the Intention is for Growth

For some people, Personal Growth is the main objective rather than a means to an end.  While for most of us, growth is the way to achieve an Intention, for them the Intention is the way to achieve growth.  For instance, I have two clients who have both set Intentions for greater prosperity.  One wants to break free of old beliefs he acquired during childhood about money being scarce and difficult on the one hand and a burden on the other.  To do this he must leave the old stories behind, see money as neutral and stop judging himself for past choices.  The other sees prosperity as a condition of wholeness.  For her, more abundance is secondary to mastering the principles of Partner mode.

These two clients are at different stages of growth.  Even though their Intentions are essentially the same, one is growing in Personal Power from Interpreter  to Observer in order to achieve greater prosperity.  For him, the starting point is to believe money can come easily.  She wants to master Personal Power at the Partner level, and she’s using her Intention as her classroom.  Her starting point is to believe her wholeness unconditionally encompasses abundance.

Manifesting an Intention has three basic steps:

  1. Set an Intention that is true for you.
  2. Bring your thoughts, actions and emotions into congruence with your Intention.
  3. Receive.

Manifesting Growth by way of an Intention requires a bit more mindfulness:

  1. Achieve the calm of neutrality.
  2. Recognize the power of choice.
  3. Believe what you want is inevitable.
  4. Set a true Intention.
  5. Surrender into willingness.
  6. Receive.

At this moment in time, your level of Personal Power produces what you currently have.  To achieve something else, put the necessary effort and attention into your own growth so you can be in harmony with your wants.

(If you find value in what I write, you might like to experience what can be achieved through one-on-one coaching.  The first session is always complementary.  Write me at kathy@kathyjacobson.com)

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Posted in Beliefs, Cause and Effect, Creator Mode, Interpreter Mode, Observer Mode, Partner Mode, Personal Growth, The Law of Attraction, Victim Mode, intentions, manifestation | 3 Comments »

Observe Your Path

Sunday, September 12th, 2010

This week in a conversation with one of my oldest friends, she remembered when we used to go hiking together and how our hiking styles were so different.  She liked to pick a trail with a good destination – a lake, or an overlook – and follow the trail until we got there.  I like to take off cross country and end up wherever I end up.  Often, we’d follow the trail up to the lovely destination, then we’d bushwhack back to the car.

One of the truly endearing things about my friend is that she always stayed neutral when we hiked together.  (After once or twice, however, her kids refused to come along.)  We often encountered rough terrain or heavy brush, sometimes we had to backtrack, and my way inevitably took longer.  Even as she teased me for my preference, she exhibited awareness, flexibility, humor, openness, patience and resilience.

The path through life often resembles bushwhacking more than a groomed trail.  While we might prefer a beaten path with a delightful destination (at least some times), we’re more likely to encounter steep slopes, brambles, pitfalls, detours, mud patches, dead ends and stormy weather (at least some of the time).

When the going gets tough, staying the observer goes a long way toward building bridges, smoothing the path, paving the potholes, and lightening the load.

This does not happen by magic.  It happens by the personal energy you generate and transmit.

Results Follow Energy

I have identified five operational modes of personal power (The Diamond of Mastery) in which the energies of thoughts, actions and emotions combine and generate a result.    Here’s a quick review:

In Victim mode, you cede your personal power to the energies of powerlessness – fear, anger, anxiety, jealousy, resentment, loneliness, despair, etc.  Your vision of what’s possible narrows to two options – fight or flight.  The resulting energy is destructive, either to yourself or others, and results in increased suffering.

In Interpreter mode, your energies become less dark. Because you start discriminating between good and bad, you tend to polarize and judge.  Problems and difficulties abound, but you see yourself as a solver of problems.  The energy of judging, however, keeps you in the struggle.

In Observer mode, you stop judging, your energies become neutral.  As a result, the way becomes easier.

In Partner mode, your energies become cooperative.  Obstacles morph into allies, you begin to recognize hidden strengths where you’ve always seen weaknesses.  It’s as if you’ve suddenly gained traction on black ice.  What you want shifts from the possible to the probable.

In Creator mode, your energies merge with the creative energies of the universe and intentions turn into miracles.  The probable becomes the inevitable.

Being the Observer

Interestingly enough, you can observe from every one of these modes.  And as soon as you observe, you shift into neutral.  For as long as you stay in observer energy, you see possibilities that might otherwise be invisible.  observer mode is like using night goggles in the dark, like having x-ray vision, like remote viewing.

Consider that at the two extremes, the modes of victim and creator, energies are focused very narrowly.  Victims focus on surviving and/or escaping; Creators focus on uniting and/or manifesting.  From either place, you can step off to one side and observe.  You can always identify what you’re feeling, what you’re thinking and what you’re doing.  In either of those states, if you take a breath and release your focus you can name the feeling, state the thought, describe the action.  Thus, you observe.  The instant you refocus, you are no longer the observer.

Because focus in Interpreter  and Parner modes is less intense and less directed, it’s fairly easy to become the observer.  From Interpreter mode, you have to stop judging.  The more neutral you become, the more accurate, genuine, and empowering your observations will be.  From Partner mode, you have to relax your connection to your intention.  In either case, you will find value in occasionally observing where you are in relationship to where you want to be.

Although the key concept of Observer mode is neutrality, Observer mode is a zone of variation.  As a beginner, you might find it easier to achieve indifference than humor, easier to watch than to understand.

Practicing Neutrality

One way to master Neutrality and Observation is to practice the following simple techniques:  Notice.  Recognize.  Name.  Claim.  I suggest you apply these steps in the following areas of your life.  You will experience increases in your personal power with each area you master.

1. Observe your energies. Several times a day, stop whatever you’re doing a take a quick inventory of your current state of being.

  • Notice what’s going on.
  • Recognize your actions, your thoughts, and your emotion(s) as present and active.
  • Name your actions, thoughts and emotions as various contributors to what’s going on.
  • Claim your behavior, your perspective of the immediate situation, and your feelings.

Most people are aware of their actions. (I’m writing.  I’m shopping.  I’m driving.  I’m arguing.  I’m organizing.)  A majority of people may be aware of their thoughts.  (I’m trying to solve a problem.  I’m thinking about my kids.  I’m balancing my budget.)  Very few people recognize the emotions associated with their actions and thoughts.  (I’m worried about my son and I’m pissed at his teacher.  I’m afraid there’s not enough money.  I’m obsessing about that insulting thing my neighbor said to me last night.)

The more you observe your actions, your thoughts and your emotions, the more you rein in your energies.  Only when you know what you’re dealing with can you direct your own personal power.

2.  Observe your relationships.  Every relationship has its own personality, so sometime during the next week, give some attention to those relationships you care most about.

  • Notice the general energy of the relationship.
  • Recognize – without judgment – that you bring your thoughts, actions and emotions into the mix and so does the other person.
  • Name the behaviors you engage in with that person.  Name your thoughts and emotions.  You can ask the other person what they’re thinking or feeling, but don’t just guess.  Too often guesswork will spin you into interpreter mode.
  • Claim your own part – how you’re acting, what you’re thinking, what you’re feeling.  Do not claim the other person’s part.

3.  Observe your choices. Separate past choices from present choices and treat them slightly differently.

For past choices:

  • Notice the choice you made.
  • Recognize the ways you invested your energies in that choice.
  • Name your beliefs at the time, your emotions at the time and the action you took.
  • Claim the choice you made.  Do not judge!  As the observer, you can acknowledge you made the best choice you could at the time, you can leave behind any stories associated with what the other person did, and you can acknowledge the situation was merely a series of events.

For present choices:

  • Notice when you arrive at a choice point.
  • Recognize the vast panorama of choices available to you.
  • Name your present emotions, your present perspectives, and the choices that appeal to you most.
  • Claim your choice.

4.  Observer your patterns. Your habits, beliefs, expectations and assumptions combine in ways that create patterns, and you have different patterns for the different areas of your life.  In one area, your pattern might be positive, progressive, productive; in another area, your pattern might be difficult, destructive, disheartening.  You will gain tremendous insight into your personal power when you observe the ways you invest energy in different patterns.

  • Notice your patterns by looking for such aspects as similarities, repetitions, your argument for or against (it may be as standard as reading a script), your level of mindfulness (less mindfulness indicates a more set pattern), and the frequency of the pattern.
  • Recognize your patterns of behavior and of thought.  Pay particular attention to the emotions you experience and any progression of emotion.  Also identify what you hope to gain by this pattern.
  • Name the ways you allow each of the three energies to develop in the pattern.
  • Claim the result.  Patterns lead to the same outcomes time after time after time.

4.  Observe your results. The result you’re getting in any given area of your life can be a spotlight illuminating the energies you are (or have been) investing.  To fully understand what you’re investing, become the detached observer of what you’re getting.

  • Notice what is.  If you aren’t quite making ends meet – that’s what is.  If you have a health issue – that’s what is.  If you have a rocky relationship with someone – that’s what is.
  • Recognize the energy you’re bringing to this situation.  By your actions, your thoughts and your emotions you contribute energy to every aspect of your life.  Accepting your contribution to any situation expands your ability to initiate change.  Also recognize the contributions of others and acknowledge that as their part.
  • Name your contribution.  Refer to the Actions List for the actions common to the five modes.  If you’re doing a lot of complaining, you are probably feeling pretty helpless, which is victim energy.  If you’re procrastinating, you’re making things more difficult, which is interpreter energy.  You can identify thought energy by the kinds of questions are assumptions you’re making.  See my article called The Power of the Question.  For help recognizing your emotions, refer to the Emotions List. 
  • Claim the result.  Even if you feel you didn’t create the situation, when you claim the results of your life, you become their master.  Like a dog who obeys only one master, your results answer only to you.

Mastery

Observer mode expands your access to time and space.  As the observer you have time to look around, to consider, to explore, to meditate, to center, to choose.  You have space to spread out, to move, to experiment, to rearrange.  Pathways once hidden now become obvious.  Doors you assumed to be barred swing open with the merest nudge.

When you master neutrality, you see more clearly, envision more expansively, look for new possibilities, bring calm to stressful situations, you can trust you intuition, never experience helplessness or hopelessness.  Basically, your life never feels out of control.

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Posted in Cause and Effect, Creator Mode, Interpreter Mode, Observer Mode, Partner Mode, Uncategorized, Victim Mode, personal power | 44 Comments »

Choosing and Using

Sunday, September 5th, 2010

In the mid-1990s, I attended a powerful workshop on abundance presented by Unity teacher  Edwina Gaines.  Somewhere in her workshop, she said, “What is up to you.  How is up to God.”  It’s the only thing I remember from the workshop, probably because at the time I was caught up in the importance of taking action.  Even though she continued with, “Listen for the divine idea,” I couldn’t get past my own belief in the need to do. While I had experienced the importance of aligning emotion with thought, I had also observed over and over again the necessity of also keeping actions aligned.  If you want to write a book, you must put words on paper; if you want to take bicycling pack trips, you have to put in the miles; if you want to be healthy, you have to eat properly; etc.

So I pondered and puzzled over Edwina’s words, and after about a decade, I finally got it.  I finally learned to differentiate the what from the how. I saw that what is the essence of free will.  As human beings, choosing what is our opportunity, our responsibility, our obligation.  No force in the universe (not even God) can choose for us.  We must choose, and choosing what must come first.  If we jump too quickly into the how, we’ll end up with the wrong what. Further, if we try to control the how we limit the miracle.

Taking on Your Part

However, since I’ve been working with the modes of personal power, I’ve begun to see aspects of how that do belong to us.  The more I work with emotions, the more I see them as the energy of how. Emotional energy is the force that empowers results.  If you want a certain result, you can identify the emotional energy that produces the outcome, generate that emotion within you and then use the energy to fuel the result you’ve chosen.  This is not exerting power over your emotions so much as accessing the power of your emotions.  In this respect, identifying and investing emotional energy is the how that’s up to you.

I’ve also been observing another interaction between what and how that blurs the boundary between them even more.  When you decide you want something, it’s totally natural, perhaps instinctive, to immediately begin mapping out the route between here and there.  Whether you call this a business plan, a plan of attack, a project plan, or merely a to-do list, you gain confidence in your idea when you assure yourself of the potential for success by envisioning the means to get there.  If you can’t see the how, you may discard the idea immediately.  This could be called the process of how-to-what.

Moving From What to How

Consider instead a what-to-how approach.

Begin by identifying what you want.  You can be as broad or as particular as you like, but use specific terms.  A general sense of something, expressed in general terms can come out hazy and not quite formed, i.e., “I’d like to get to a place in my heart where I can let go of animosity towards others,” or “It’d be nice if I could feel confident enough of my voice to sing in front of people.”

Instead, either the broad statement, “I want joy,” or the specific statement, “I want a happier relationship with someone (by name),”  gets more to the heart of what you want.  You can say, “I want to live on purpose,” or you can say, “I want to sing at the Met,” and either one can be perfectly accurate and true for you.

To illustrate this for yourself, draw a pyramid on a piece of paper.  Draw a horizontal line slightly below the peak of the pyramid, forming a small triangle on top.  Write what you want in the triangle.  This is your intention.  At this point, don’t give a single thought to the large space below the line.  Everything below this topmost level is how.

Sometimes we choose things that aren’t true for us.  Sometimes we resist something that is true for us.  The first how that belongs to you is to make your intention absolutely, totally, 100% true for you.

You may already have a deep emotional connection with what you want.  If so, this aspect of how may feel pretty straightforward and easily itemized.  Whether you already have that deep connection or you want to achieve it, the following practice can help you strengthen and empower your intention.

1.  Imagine what you want as accomplished, manifest, complete, a done deal.

Refuse to let doubts and potential obstacles interfere with this envisioning.  If you want joy, imagine you have it.  If you want your  relationships to be happy, imagine that happiness.  If you want to be living your purpose, imagine you are.  If you want to sing at the Met, imagine you’re on the stage.  See it accomplished, real, now.

If you can’t quite imagine what you want as real, find something comparable you have experienced and recall the feeling.  Perhaps seeing yourself on stage at the Met is a bit of a stretch, but when you ski you maneuver the moguls with ease and confidence.  Remember the success and pleasure you experience on a challenging slope.  Once you feel it, it’s transferable.

2. As you envision what you want as fulfilled, let the emotion(s) of fulfillment bubble up within you.  Recognize them and name them.  Do you feel happiness?  Joy?  Peace?  Love?  Confidence?  Exhilaration?  Gratitude?

3. Let yourself experience these emotions to the fullest.  Be them.  Let them expand and fill your entire body.  Let them flow down your arms and legs to your fingers and toes.  Feel the vibrations of them as fully and completely as you can.

4. Think about your intention and envelop it in this heightened level of your emotions.  Infuse it with these emotions.

5. At least once a day, repeat this exercise.  Imagine.  Identify.  Experience.  Infuse.

Emotion as How

Choosing and using partner and creator emotions is your part of how. This practice will help you align your thoughts and emotions with each other and with your intention.

When you become truly, fully aligned with your intention, it becomes accomplished.  You may not be joyful to the exclusion of pain or suffering, but you see such joy as both possible and attainable.  You may not yet be fully living your purpose, but you are fully connected and aligned with that purpose.  You may not yet be singing at the Met, but you know without a doubt performance is your destiny.  You may not yet have a loving relationship with someone, but you have unflinching trust that best good will unfold for both of you.

And now it’s time to look below the pinnacle of the pyramid.  Using horizontal lines, divide the large space into several sections to represent the steps of how – the journey from where you are to where you want to be.  Some journeys may have two or three steps, and others may have more than ten.  What do you see as your next step along the way, the next leg of your journey?

If joy is your intention, perhaps the next step is a happy home, or peace with your body.  If a happier relationship is your intention, perhaps the next step is becoming happier with yourself.  If singing at the Met is your intention, perhaps the next step is gaining confidence during auditions.  If living on purpose is your intention, perhaps envisioning the ways you can serve others  is your next step.

Whatever you see as your next step now become a what. Now you can set a new intention specific to this step.  Now you can identify the emotions that will help you partner with it and/or create it.  Now you can choose to experience those emotions.  Now you can infuse this what with those emotions.

Continue building your pyramid from the top down by converting each successive how into a what. At each level remember that everything beneath the level you’re working on will stay a how until you get there – and as long as it’s a how it’s not up to you.

Enhance your Product

Now draw a strong vertical pole from the base of your pyramid up through the peak.  This pole is your product.  Your product is what you give to others; it’s the way you do and/or will serve with this intention.  It remains a constant, receiving your efforts, no matter what step you are on and no matter what other efforts you make in support of your intention.  What you ultimately create will be directly related to your product.  In many cases the quality of your product determines the ultimate quality of the miracle.

Some intentions have very obvious products, i.e. the knowledge, the skill, the wisdom, the techniques, the music, the manuscripts, etc.  For other intentions, the product can be more nebulous.  For instance, if you want joy, what’s the product?  Actually, joy is both the what and the how. The more you practice joy – in your heart and in your service – the more joy you’ll have.

This brings us to yet another aspect of how that is up to you.  It’s up to you to become a person who is whatever it is you want.  When you start asking, “But how do I do this?” practice responding with this answer:  “By becoming the person who is this.”  (Or has this, or does this.)

If you were already this person, you would already be or have or do.  Since you are not or have not or do not, give attention and energy to becoming.  Working on the product certainly contributes to your becoming your intention, but action must be supported by thoughts and emotions.

In instances where the intention and the journey are the same, all efforts to become are investments in the product.  The core of any product is the service you render.  If you are becoming joy, let your joy be a service to others.  The more you become your product, the more you enrich the lives of others through the state of your own heart.

Other more physical intentions also require you to be the person who does.  As you strengthen your product, refine your thinking.  As you refine your thinking, continue to evoke and express partner and creator emotions.  Through the energy of you emotions, your thoughts, and your actions, you will become the person who receives.  You will manifest the miracles you’ve chosen.


(I offer one-on-one personal coaching.  If you would like a free introductory session, please write me:  kathy@kathyjacobson.com)

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